What is it like to listen to the body through Focusing? What exactly is Focusing, and what can it offer? Of course, each time and for each person it is different, but perhaps this example of a twenty-minute Focusing session can open a little window into the possibilities of Focusing.
I close my eyes. My Focusing partner leads me to sense the space around me, to come into my body, and gradually to the middle areas of the body. I drop in a question, what wants my attention right now.
I take time to sense inside. What appears is some kind of a tight bundle in the upper stomach. I’m not sure whether it was there already before, and I don’t know if it’s connected to something in my life. In any case, it seems to want attention.
I put into words what I notice, and the image sharpens: the tight thing in the stomach is like something folded over itself, and it has hidden something away inside. Perhaps to protect it, perhaps also as it feels insulted in some way: “Not then, I’ll just keep this here for myself”. An image arises that there is some kind of treasure inside, like a jewel.
My partner reflects back what I’m describing with my eyes closed: “Now you notice that it’s hiding something, and perhaps there is also something about feeling insulted.” Hearing the words helps me to stay present with the experience. I can sense into whether the description fits or if other words might be closer. My inner world is being seen – by me and also by my partner.
The mind can easily start to come up with questions and suggestions: “What might that treasure be?” “How to get the tightness to open up?” I’ve learned to trust that often the best thing is not to try to do anything. I don’t bring in my own agendas, I simply stay with the felt sense. With the sense that something is there inside, protected.
After a while, an image comes of a flower bud inside. Now I recognize that the flower itself might actually want to open and be seen. It’s just that something around it prefers to keep it hidden.
As I put this into words, something stirs and begins to open. Now what I feel are like the wings of a butterfly, bright and clear, perhaps glass-like. They spread out in my chest area, opening something. It feels a bit like I’m shining, radiating – bright light or, on the other hand, love. I put this into words, let it be seen.
It might feel embarrassing to say all this aloud, but with a familiar Focusing partner I dare to take that step. I know they won’t judge or comment on what has arisen from within me. We create a sacred space for it by not discussing the content of the Focusing afterwards.
The heart area is bare, open to shining love. I suddenly realize that the sense of being insulted hurts espeically in the heart area. From there, more clearly now, comes into view what this feeling insulted is about. I might have guessed it was an experience of not being loved. But no. It seems to be about me shining love and that not being seen. The shine, which I now experience a little like light, has been like air, as if it weren’t there. I’ve felt as though everyone just looked right through it. That hurts: “Fine then, I’ll just keep this to myself.”
I feel how important it is for this experience to be seen now – whatever in my life it may have been connected to. Then another realization opens: There is something here that has felt so embarrassing. I have been open in a childlike way, like a lovely little fairy, just shining love. And when that hasn’t been seen, it has felt as if maybe I just imagined it. So embarrassing, I was thinking it was there, but it wasn’t. A reason to tighten up, to make sure I keep all of it hidden.
At this point my partner lets me know we have two minutes left, of the pre-agreed time. I get another flash of how what has arisen connects to my life. More could come if we continued. Very occasionally, at this point I might ask if my partner would mind giving me a few more minutes. Now I don’t do that. I trust that this is enough for now. If something is left unfinished, it can continue at the latest the next time I sit down to focus.
I thank all of that inside me that has come to view. I am grateful for what my body can tell me. I have gained new understanding, and in addition – which is perhaps even more important – something in body and my whole being is different now. Something has shifted. I come back to sensing my body as a whole, and gradually I come out of my inner world, and open my eyes.